Goodbye Terrible Two’s

Tomorrow my baby Hudson officially graduates from the terrible two’s to the amazing threenager I know he will be. It’s a little bittersweet for me- I always have a hard time with my kids birthdays but this one feels different because I KNOW I am done having children and this is the last day I will have a two year old- EVER. Hudson has been the definition of terrible two’s- a stage I thought people made up when Chandler was two because he was great. But is this just the case of “the second child” that we all hear about AFTER we decide to have a second child? Maybe.


Let me give you some details of our second year with Mr. Hudson:

  1. He doesn’t sleep well. This kid is the lightest sleeper and this was a big change going from Chandler who would sleep 12 hours every night and still take a 3 hour nap if we let him. Not Hudson though, bedtime is -I need juice, one more song, in and out of bed, opening his window in his room, and most recently he told me he would give me a treat if I slept with him- Okay, so I laughed and my heart skipped some beats when he said that with his cute little voice- but seriously kid- GO TO BED! Once he falls asleep he is up 5:45-6 every morning. Never fails- he is always awake and walking around when I get home from my workout or run in the morning. Which leads me to my second point….
  2. Things he has done since we put him in a normal bed:  A. Climbed to the top of the pantry and came in at 4 am eating muffins. B. Took a whole bottle of powder and exploded it around his room. C. Comes down to our room multiple times at night and sleeps in between my legs like a cat. D. Prepare yourself- he did the whole mass murder bedroom smear his poo everywhere on a Tuesday morning….oh and one time he took a poo in his toy box. SOOO YEAH! I think these things have passed now, I HOPE!
  3. This kid has a temper. He wants your focus ALL the time- most of this is focused on Chandler. Luckily Chan is a pretty good big brother and does play with Hudson but if he doesn’t- watch out Chan you might get a toy thrown in your face or your 3DS game flushed down the toilet. It’s changed the whole dynamic of Chandler too because he has to fight more which was never his personality. It’s amazing how a 6 year old can fear a 2 year old.
  4. I’m in constant fear that he is going to seriously injure himself because fear is just not in his vocabulary.


So I gave you the bad first. When you make the decision to have a second child you think “ahh I’ve got this, should be easy, I’ve already done it once”. Chandler was almost 4 when we had Hudson so we really thought we were experienced. The second child changes everything! The whole dynamic of your family changes and your first child who may have been close to perfect like my first child turns into someone else because now they are competing and also have someone else they can get in trouble. Everyone tells you a baby will change your life but nobody tells you how the second child changes your life. It’s simply put-exhausting every day.



Would I change it??? OOOOOOHHHH NO! Because he completed me- he completed our family. He made me whole and I didn’t even know I was missing that in my life.

So here are some of the AMAZING things about Hudson:

  1. I don’t know a kid with a bigger heart. He loves SO much it’s hard to be mad at him for the above mentioned things because in the same moment he will tell you “you are his best buddy” or just out of the blue he will tell me he likes my hair or sing me a sweet song.
  2. I’ve never got a better hug in my life than from Hudson. Every day. When I see him for the first time in the morning he runs and jumps in my arms. When I see him after work he does the same usually with some loving comment.
  3. He loves his brother. He is obsessed with Chandler and when they play together nicely it’s a magical thing for this Mom to see. Chandler has even commented on the fact that he is so glad he has a brother to play with and this past year this really came to life as Hudson started really talking and playing more.
  4. He loves to dance. Seriously, when we are anywhere and music comes on, he is up and moving.
  5. His personality is witty and funny. He does and says the funniest things, his sense of humor is great for a 2 year old and his laugh is contagious.
  6. He is mine- he is a little bit more like me. Ok, a lot a bit more like me. He is my baby boy. (Not that Chan is not- but Chandler is a little Justin- let’s face it).


I always had my money on Chandler doing big things because Chandler is my smart little child who would rather go to after school math clubs than play a sport right now. However, Hudson has a driven and motivated spirit that I think is tough right now on us but will pay off in the future.

So yes, the second child gets a bad rep but from my point of view it makes them stronger individuals in the long run.

Tonight I will spend 45 minutes putting to bed a two year old for the last time(I’m crying as I type this) and tomorrow I will welcome a new year of adventure, probably some attitude, and growing opinion of a three year old. Hudson completed me on 5-18-14 and I’m so in love with him it hurts me sometimes because I never thought I could love someone like I loved Chandler but love multiplies and doesn’t divide. I am so lucky to have 2 very different healthy boys that are growing up to have individual and amazing personalities.

Here’s to 3…and maybe a little less craziness. (Who am I kidding, I have boys- they will always be CRAZY).


Happy Birthday to my Hudson!!

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True Life- I’m a Mom and I Workout. 

With Mothers Day coming up in a week I thought a good topic would be juggling both fitness and a family. I like to think I’m somewhat of a seasoned Mother now(kinda) I have two kids and my oldest is in 1st grade and my youngest will be 3 in two weeks. However, no matter how old they are it is hard finding time for yourself. 

When Chandler was born we took walks and I did some small fitness classes but after working all day I felt extremely guilty leaving him and always quit. Just like most first time Moms you do not want to miss a thing and the Mom guilt is REAL! At that time our first home was across from fairgrounds so we would go over there and run around and take 3-5 mile walks and that was the extent of my fitness. I had lost all my baby weight through dieting and just staying active enough I didn’t need anything else. 

Ironically it wasn’t until right before I decided to start trying for a second child that I started really thinking about finding some time for me. A friend of mine owned a Zumba and Fitness studio and I started going twice a week. I then got pregnant and kept it up. I would go to Zumba 2-3 times a week and I loved it. Chan was 3 1/2 and I didn’t feel the guilt I had for years because I could talk to him about where I was and I realized he had so much to do at home that he wasn’t missing me that much for an hour. 


That’s some progression pictures I took while pregnant and working out. 12 weeks- 20 weeks- and 34 weeks. 

After I had Hudson I was committed to keeping up with finding time for myself… but OH it was so much harder! While I was on maternity leave it was a dream, I could walk with him when I wanted and if I wanted to get away for an hour I didn’t feel bad because I had been with the kids all day! 

Once I went back to work it was a struggle. All the time it had taken me to get a good flow with just Chandler was gone and I was back to square one. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and would cry all the time. I had kept up with Pilates and Zumba but I had to jump through hoops to go to a class. My parents luckily live 4 minutes from me and would give me the time at night if my husband was working late. My husband was also very supportive but I felt like I was drowning and the amount of anxiety I had was unbelievable. I never thought having a second child would be such a game changer but nobody ever tells you how hard that second one really is and how much more your life changes. 

Then I found running. It was something I could do on my own time, without a scheduled class. This was my sweet spot. Was I exhausted still? Of course. I’m still exhausted-  Parenting is EXHAUSTING! There is no magic pill that makes it easy but running took the edge off parenting and work. It’s done before they wake up on weekdays, I don’t miss my time with them, and I feel good and ready for the day! 

I’ve been running since Hudson was 9 months old and it has made me a better Mom on all levels! On my Saturday long runs I do miss a little time with them, but I don’t feel guilt because when we are together it’s quality time. They were also there for my first marathon and that was everything to me! 


What’s the best part? They know I’m a runner! My oldest son asks me every morning how many miles I ran while we are having breakfast. My youngest thinks I’m sick if I’m in bed when he wakes up and not coming home from a run or the gym. They see me being active and my hope is that it creates an example for them as they grow up into Men. They see my husband running and also encouraging me as a runner. They know that it’s part of our lifestyle as a family and I love that. I don’t feel guilty about it anymore because we do so many activities together as a family and taking some time for myself is just keeping me sane. 

So many times we go to the park next to the track and they will want to race us. It’s so fun that they want this. Remember those little eyes that look up to you! 

Almost 7 years into being a Mom and I’ve been able to find something for me that keeps me happy too. Don’t feel bad for loving something for yourself. Someone once told me “Your children will grow up and leave you. If you don’t have any hobbies or don’t do anything for yourself for 18 years you will be very lonely”. Every Mom is different and maybe you are not a runner but I encourage you to do something that is just for you. I bet you will be a better Mom, Wife, Friend, Daughter for it. 🙂 

Happy Mothers Day week! 

– Jess 

What I never knew I always wanted…

I’m stealing a Carrie Underwood line from one of her songs on her latest album with the title of my blog, but the first time I heard the song I found it so relatable that I broke down in tears. With Mothers Day coming up this week I thought I would share my story about being a Mom.

Some girls grow up knowing they absolutely want to be a Mom one day. They play with dolls, babysit kids, and obsess over details about what their future children will be like. I was never one of those girls. I can count on one hand the amount of times I babysat as a teenager, didn’t play “mommy” to dolls, and never thought about having my own children. Of course when I was dating Justin we talked about it and I said I wanted to have kids one day…but it was more in passing “sure I want kids, one day”…because I think that’s what everyone says.

Quite honestly though the thought of having a kid really freaked me out. I’m an only child, I never took care of any babies, and as selfish as it may sound I just didn’t know if I could share my life with kids.

Luckily it never came down to me having a choice. Two months after I got married I got pregnant. We were not trying and to this day I will still say I wouldn’t have it any other way- I’m so glad that it happened on accident. If I would have waited until the “right” time I don’t know if I would have ever had a “right” time. Justin had just started his MBA program when I got pregnant, I was also in school full-time and working full-time. I wanted to be at least 30 when I had my first child, but I was 26(almost 27) by the time I had him and we were still newlyweds. It wasn’t at all ideal for us at the time but the moment I held Chandler for the first time my life was forever changed. I fell in love with every single piece of him. I know that’s how it is suppose to be- but I really doubted this when I was pregnant. How could you love something so much? Not many of our friends had kids at the time but other Moms had told me it was nothing like you can even imagine and they were so right!38961_425980485744_2585960_n.jpg

I never knew I wanted to be a Mom. How I would obsess over every little detail with him so much that it would keep me up at night. I’m a controlling person, I will admit that, and with Chandler I wanted to control every detail possible. I would lay on the floor and try to figure out why he wasn’t rolling yet, what the mechanics of rolling over were and how I could show a 4 month old to roll over. I was like this with every single milestone with Chandler, as many Moms are with their first child. He made me so proud and still does in every single thing he does. He became the love of my life on July 21st, 2010, his actual due date. He is a lover and a sweet soul. He is extremely smart and constantly surprises me with conversations we have. Even this morning when I kissed him on the head I could smell his scent and my heart honestly skipped a beat because he is still my baby even though he isn’t a baby anymore. He made me a Mom and gave me a gift that I never knew I wanted.

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I could have just had Chandler, my heart was so full I thought…but I knew I wanted Chandler to have a sibling. Especially being an only child, I wanted someone for Chandler. It was different the second time around, we did plan it out, we talked about it for years and decided when a “good” time would be. No matter what though I thought I could never ever love someone like I loved Chandler. I listened to what people would say, that love is multiplied not divided, but that seemed impossible.

My labor and delivery for Hudson was quick. I pushed for 5 minutes- two pushes and he was out. He actually came out so fast that he couldn’t breath and they had to take him to the Nicu to monitor him, plus he was on the small side and a couple weeks early. I instanly thought of everything I could have done wrong when I was pregnant- maybe I worked out too much, didn’t eat enough for him, didn’t worry as much or fuss about my pregnancy like I had with Chandler. All of that didn’t matter though when they let me hold him for the first time. He was mine- he made me a Mom again- and I fell in love with his tiny features and perfect round face. At the hospital I felt such at peace being with him and only him. I enjoyed my alone time with Hudson and took every little bit of him in.

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I was older, was already a Mom, and enjoyed being a Mom of a newborn so much more with Hudson. I didn’t obsess over every detail, I just loved to be with him and watch him grow. I never knew I wanted to have two kids, two boys at that, but Hudson has made me more of a Mother than I ever was with just Chandler. He is so very opposite of his brother. He challenges me, he is fearless, and he is a rough and tough playful boy. Hudson has the funniest little personality, he loves to dance, and when he does decide to give me love he does it in such a way that it takes my breathe away and makes me feel an overwhelming sense of happiness. 11222166_10153242271240745_2488358303822845689_n

When I talk to friends who don’t have kids yet and they say they are waiting for the “right” time, I always say there is never a right time. Something will always be going on in your life and you could wait forever waiting for the right time. I never knew how life changing these boys would be for me and how much love I could even have in my heart to give. I love being a Mom, even though some days are hard, frustrating, and exhausting. They are my world and my everything. I have a unique relationship with each of them and they have made me a Mom in different ways.

“Life has a way of showing you just what you need and who you were made to be”

– Carrie Underwood

Happy Mothers Day to all of you Mom’s out there! 💗